“Never apologize for showing feelings. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli
Often people are more comfortable expressing their thoughts...
‘I think’ or ‘I believe’
They may not feel as comfortable expressing their emotions.
Emotions are complex, made up of physical feelings or sensations.
For example, when we are angry we might experience tightness in our chest, or heat in our bodies. We may shout or argue, we may withdraw and try to suppress the anger we feel inside.
Anger is often considered a bad or negative emotion. We might try to hide it, feel ashamed or guilty. At the other extreme we can become taken over by it and not be able to control or moderate it.
What if we taught ourselves a new response? Can we actually learn to listen to our bodies? Can we learn how to stay with the feeling, more about our-self, our situation and what it really means?
Anger is most commonly fuelled by other feelings, such as fear or hurt. When we control our anger to the extent that we don’t engage with what we feel internally we lose sight of what’s really at the core and what’s really hurting.
When we feel sad or depressed we can feel heavy in our body, emptiness inside, yet to articulate this can be very difficult.
We may have been brought up not to express emotions, to bury them. They can then become difficult to tolerate and as a result we can feel trapped. Sometimes we push it away to prevent others from seeing how we really feel.
We have to learn to be comfortable with our feelings, realising that there is in fact no good or bad feeling. It is only what we choose to do with each feeling that can help us to have a better understanding of our needs and our relationships.
Our emotions can be positive in our lives, a force for change and action. They inspire us to make choices, to realign and focus our ambitions.
If we don’t know how to work with our emotions we can experience confusion and uncertainty about what to do and what steps to take.
If we can learn how to turn inwards towards our emotions - the intensity can and does lessen. We can understand what’s hurting, what needs resolved and what our needs may be. We give ourselves the opportunity to make choices and take actions with intent rather than react without awareness.
From time to time we get stuck in a an emotion which can then have a detrimental impact on our current situation or relationships; if we haven’t had the chance to work through or process this properly it can linger and cause issues in the present
When we have a healthy relationship with our emotions we can carry better relationships, make better choices and live our lives in a way which allows us to accept, acknowledge and feel.
Emotion Focussed Therapy can really help us to understand our emotions so as they no longer overwhelm, allowing us to manage our world more confidently and benefit our relationships.